Counselor’s Blog

Wilmington Manor offers a comprehensive elementary guidance program that will provide services to all students, parents and teachers.  As an elementary counselor, my goal is to make school a successful experience for our students, assist students in finding early solutions to their problems, encourage new interests,  help students develop into confident individuals, assist students with developing behavior patterns for dealing with classroom activities and relationships with peers and adults, and aide students in developing communication skills that will help them throughout their lifetime.

Wilm. Manor’s counseling program provides  individual, small group, classroom, crisis, and self-initiated counseling services. Our “prevention approach” main objective is to intervene at an early age so that children will have learned coping skills necessary to handle and/or prevent more serious problems later in life. 

Pat Chapman, School Counselor

Students start school Aug. 20th.

Grief is a healthy response to situations such as death of a person or a pet, separation or divorce, injury, loss of a job, or moving to a new place.  The greatest loss we experience is when a loved one dies.  Even then, grieving fully is the best way to help us accept our loss.  One misconception about grief is that children should be sheltered from it.  Children need to grieve.  Parents should tell them about the loss in an honest, loving way.  Above all, children need a caring person to talk with about their grief.

Understanding grief is important because everyone experiences loss or change during various times in his/her life.  People who grieve commonly experience shock and denial, anger, guilt, depression, and loneliness.  Understanding grief can help in facing the reality of loss and dealing with feelings.  Learning to accept grief can make for a stronger person.

You can help children move towards recovery by taking care of their emotional and physical needs.  It’s important to express feelings aloud, accept help from those who offer, be kind and patient, get plenty of rest, remain healthy by eating a well balanced diet, exercise regularly, and ask for professional help when needed.

It’s important to regain a positive outlook.  Doing something productive can have a great effect on how people feel about themselves and their future.  Try setting short and long range goals.  Joining a club or organization, taking a course, or doing some volunteer work can also be therapeutic.

No one can deny that grief is a painful experience, but it’s important to believe that the pain will subside.  If professional help is needed, there are many people and places to turn for help, including counselors and support groups. 

Many families experience trying times during the months of January and February.   Family members may feel tired and stressed-out.  Parents many find themselves saying negative and hurtful statements which can greatly affect their children’s emotional health.  Children respond to positive suggestions and encouragement more readily than to negative statements.  By using positive suggestions and encouragement more readily than negative statements, parents help to build their children’s self-esteem.  A strong positive self-esteem is a necessity for children to develop into competent and caring adults.  Below are some phrases that get the message across while making your children feel good about themselves:

• FOCUS ON STRENGTHS

          “This is an outstanding way of doing that.” 

          ”That’s special.”

• SHOW YOU CARE  

          “I like doing this with you.”  

          “Let’s spend some time together doing what you want

            tomorrow.”

• OFFER CHOICES

           “Do you want to do this now or after dinner?”

           ”Which of these would you like to do?”

• EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS

           “I like it when . . .”

           ”I don’t like this because . . .”

• SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION

           “I really appreciate your help with this.”

           ” You spent so much time doing this.”

Give your children a special privilege now and then, just because you love them.  Here are a few that don’t cost much, but may be worth a lot to them.

•  ”How would you like to invite a friend over to spend the night?”
•  ”Would you like to get a special treat at the grocery store today?”
• “I’d be happy to help you clean your room today.”
• “Go ahead – take an extra 15 minutes to play your favorite game.”
• “After the popcorn pops, you can be in charge of serving.”

• Be a good role model.  Describe your own kind actions and reasons for behaving that way.
• Prompt your children to empathize with other people.  Help them imagine what the other person is feeling in certain situations.
• Encourage children to apologize if they have done something wrong.  Or if applicable, suggest they remedy the act in some way.
• Read stories that involve caring for others.
• Foster a respect of diversity.
• Teach your children that “thank you” is important.  If your children receive a gift, help them draw a card, write a letter, or make a phone call to say thanks.
• Encourage responsibility by assigning chores.
• Teach the value of giving.  Have your children make small gifts for holidays and other special occasions.
• Involve your children in recycling.
• Depending on their interests, encourage your children to get involved in volunteer work.
• Ask your children which old toys and clothes they would like to donate to charity.
• Let your children collect  items for a food pantry.
• Children can reach out to others by doing chores for an elderly relative or neighbor, visiting an elderly person at a nursing home, or spending time with an ill relative.

A parent-teacher conference is a meeting between you and your child’s teacher to share important knowledge about your child.  Parents and teachers are both experts.  You know your child better than anyone.  Your child’s teacher has had special training and experience with many different children.  Attending a parent-teacher conference is a great way to show your child you care.  Since conference time is limited, go well prepared.  These are some areas that you might cover:

• How the teacher sees your child’s work compared with expectations for his/her grade/age level
• How the teacher sees your child’s social and emotional development in school
• How does the teacher think you can help at home
• Things you would like the teacher to know about your child such as, his/her love for books, his/her attitude about school, new changes in the home, or any other significant factors about your child that you feel the teacher should know.

Wilm. Manor students are learning to be “Smart Problem Solvers” through their participation in the YMCA Resource Center of Delaware’s S.E.L.F. program.  S.E.L.F., which stands for Students Expressing and Listening to Feelings, helps students develop skills to prevent and solve problems. 

• During S.E.L.F.  students use puppets to learn and practice”smart problem solver” skills.  The skills worked on depend on the students’ previous S.E.L.F. program experiences.  They include:
• Listening to verbal and non-verbal communication
• Using effective listening body language (SOLAR)
• Making good decisions
• Handling bullies effectively
• Working well with others

• Knowing the importance of caring 

Take a moment to ask your child or children about S.E.L.F.  Find out which puppets they used and what skills they learned and practiced.  Encourage and help them use the skills they learned.